Any other mamas out there going to “one and done” it?

(I mean. I reserve the right to change my mind. And if adding one babe to my fam does eventually happen, that’s fine.)

BUT. As of right now. The plan is to spoil my little Lucy with every ounce of my being.

Talking with family and friends, even strangers, they are so SHOCKED to hear me say that our plan is for Lucy to be our only child. When they ask why I usually just say “I love her, but I’m ready to have my life back”. The truth is, there is WAY more to it, but that is the readers digest version. So I bet you’re wondering, “what are the real reasons?”

Well, here they are:

The biggest reason is, I want my life back. & if that makes me sound selfish then SO BE IT. I don’t mean it negatively. My life is great. And my child adds an unfathomable amount of happiness to my life. Watching her grow every day is absolutely amazing. BUT, hear me out, most everything I do is for my family and child. I’m ready to have a child who can feed themselves. I’m ready to have a child who can wipe their own hoo-hah. I do not want to start over AGAIN. I am taking my time and thoroughly enjoying watching this peanut grow and gain more independence. So I can start having my independence back as well. I just want to watch Netflix & grab dinner with my friends without feeling guilty leaving my husband at home to take care of the baby.

I want to give every ounce that I have to parenting one child. I want to spend the time to nurture a kind, socially & emotionally, well-developed little human. I want to be at every event. I want to be her biggest fan. I want to be her best friend. Sure, I’m sure there would be enough room in my heart for another child. But my heart is so content being filled up

CHILD CARE. My LORD is it expensive. I don’t understand how some families do it. I really enjoy my Starbucks coffee, and I fear I would never have Starbucks again

I am terrified to have a ‘hard’ baby. I have gotten SO LUCKY with this little babe. Everything has come to us pretty easily from sleep, to feedings, to temperament. And even with most everything going smoothly, this shit is STILL HARD. I am so scared of adding another child and for it to be an even harder experience, and also having to parent my oldest child.

Birth experience. I dreamed and dreamed of this amazing birth experience. But turns out, you don’t always get what you want. I had to schedule a c-section at around 35 weeks because of my Breech pregnancy. This literally destroyed me. They say that I am a great candidate for a VBAC, but I truly do not think I could take the devastation of not being able to deliver vaginally, again.

Post-Partum is a BITCH. When I left the hospital they said: “just so you know, over the course of the next few days you might feel a little emotional, that is normal”. A LITTLE EMOTIONAL?! HOW ABOUT YOUR GOING TO CRY NON-STOP FOR A WEEK. Because that is what happened. Little to no sleep, recovering from getting your body split open, trying to nurse, stressed about your milk supply. It. was. terrible.

My profession is demanding. I am a kindergarten teacher. I essentially put on an 8 hour play for 28 students all day. When I come home, I am exhausted. I cannot imagine being a good mom of two, and a good teacher.

If your plan is to have more than one child. You are a saint. I am so fucking proud of you. I support you. Just like I hope you can support one child mamas, just like me.

XOXO,

Alyssa